2011 Time to Blossom Young Women's Conference is Ready to be Revealed!

Click on the image two times and it gets huge.



There will be two conferences held the last two weeks of June in Mesa Arizona for girls 11-16.
The postcards are being sent out and the new website is complete. If you haven't seen it go to
http://timetoblossom.com I love the new look of the site.
Here's a picture of it.

Self Esteem in Teenage girls

As my 2 older daughters were going through their teenage years, I could see how their self-esteem took a beating year after year in high school. Pressure came from all sides. These years are especially brutal for girls.

Women, in general, had lower self-esteem than men, although both genders have identical high levels between the ages of 9 and 12. "During adolescence, girls' self-esteem dropped about twice as much as boys'."

At that time I read a book called Reviving Ophelia. It is a book about what girls go through during these years. It says girls are their true selves at 12 and year after year they quit being themselves by trying to be accepted by their peers. They give up their likes, style, hobbies, talents etc. to fit in.

Reviving Ophelia discusses the painful identity crisis many young women in American society experience as they pass from childhood into adulthood.
Girls become “female impersonators” who fit their whole selves into small, crowded spaces. Vibrant, confident girls become shy, doubting young women. Girls stop thinking “Who am I? What do I want? And start thinking “What must I do to please others?”

Here are some sad statistics:

1 in 2 teens who have been in a serious relationships say they've gone against their beliefs in order to please their partner

92% of teen girls would like to change something about the way they look, with body weight ranking the highest.

70% of girls ages 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities such as attending school, going to the doctor, or even giving their opinion "due to feeling badly about one’s looks."

Only 2% of women describe themselves as “beautiful”

While only 19% of teenage girls are "overweight," 67% think they "need to lose weight"

90% of eating disorders are found in girls

Our Worst Fear

"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are we not to be?

You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~Marianne Williamson, her book "A RETURN TO LOVE", 1992

Christmas Gift Ideas-Christmas Tip #5

This is one of the nicest and most meaningful gifts I have been given. My daughter saw this idea at someone's house and made one for me on Mother's Day. She later gave one to her dad. I have them both hanging in my bathroom.
Here is how she made it. She printed out words about us in different sizes and fonts and printed them. She cut them out and glued them on a piece of scrapbook paper and framed it with frames that were in my basement. It didn't cost her any money and it was a big surprise. It is fun to see what she thinks of us and the spelling makes it that much cuter. If you click on it, it will enlarge.
I think adding one of these pictures to a kid's bathroom would be a real self esteem booster. I know it makes me feel good every time I read it.
Hanging above my son's bed, where only he can see it, are vinyl letters that say We're Proud of You. I thought that when he saw it, that he might take it down but it has been up for 3 years. He gets made fun of a little when friends see it but it is still there. Every one thrives on love, attention, affirmations and good words said about them.
This would be an easy, inexpensive gift to start working on for Christmas gifts.

I know there are some really creative people out there. If you do this project will you send me a picture? I would like to do some of these for my kids. Thanks!

This is one of my favorite "neighbor" gifts. It is a scripture printed on top of a printed flower picture. It was made on the computer and printed on nice paper. I put it into a fancy frame and it sits on a table in my entry way.

I love these inexpensive vinyl letters.

Here is a list of games my family likes
Cranium
Apples to Apples
Whoonu? (We played this last night. Fun for anyone who can read. You get to know what each other likes.
Phase 10
Pit
Uno

Dove Beauty

When I first started coaching I assumed that I was the only one that was unsure of myself. The people that were in my first class were 2 MBA's, 1 PHD, 1 President of a well known company, a motivational trainer, and a professional speaker that traveled the world speaking. Then there was me, a housewife and mother.
Was I ever intimidated. These women were the people I had always dreamed of becoming but because I wanted to stay home with my children, I hadn't done all of those grandiose things.
When I started coaching, I found one thing in common, no matter how beautiful, no matter how successful, no matter how confident on the outside, when you speak to people heart to heart, everyone has insecurities and doubts on the inside, some people just hide it better than others. This was eye opening to me.
When I see this photoshopped billboard it makes me sad. There are so many women who feel bad about themselves because they look at fake perfect people in magazines and on TV and know they don't look like that. They compare their morning face with no make up and hair done, to this billboard model that isn't even a real person.
Why do we continue to read magazines with airbrushed faces and photo shopped bodies? It only makes us feel less confident.

As I skim through fashion magazines, I unconsciously ponder on what qualities I can fix with myself. For a few hours, after looking at the glamorous pictures of celebrities and cover girl models, I become much more aware of my flaws. My sense of self may be dampened for a few hours, until I hit reality.

What I and billions of other females around the world are being fed is a lie.

Boston Globe columnist Ellen Goodman said, "The big success story of our entertainment industry is our ability to export insecurity: We can make any woman anywhere feel perfectly rotten about her shape."

I wholeheartedly believe this. Research conducted by Stanford University and University of Massachusetts found that 70 percent of college women say they feel worse about their own looks after reading women's magazines. Another study by Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston found that the more frequently girls read magazines, the more likely they were to diet and feel bad about their body shape.

Ladies, these magazines are ruining our self-esteem. I won't go out on a limb by being so broad as to say that everyone is affected, but ... This was written by a college age girl.

Let's quit buying the magazines that make us feel inferior.
The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is our self.
Are you being the best you, you can be? Not perfect, but a good version of yourself?
Are you following your dreams? What have you been putting off that you would love to do and would make you feel fulfilled?
Are you being authentic? Do you follow the crowd or are you being your true self?
Are you doing a little better than you did last month? Baby steps are great!
Are you taking care of yourself? Are you in need of a haircut or color, new outfit, gym membership, massage, pedicure, nap, lunch with a friend, movie, an hour at the library, a song from Itunes?
Do something nice for you. You deserve it!!

Daring to Be Yourself

What do you think about the new blog design? I think Daphne at Parasol Designs did a great job. It is me to a T. I hope the women who aren't girly girls can still read my posts through all the pinky frou-frou (definition-Fussy, Ostentatious ornamentation) I am writing this blog as a way for others to get to know me and at the same time get to know myself.
I am in the business of coaching women to be their best. I feel that the more we get to know our true selves and live into it, the happier we can become.
Years ago I read a book, Daring to Be Yourself by Alexandra Stoddard. My eyes were opened to the choices we make everyday. What kind of pen do I write with? If someone were to see it, would they say, "Oh that must be Carla's pen it looks just like her?" When someone comes into my home does it show my personality or is it just what is in style right now? If you are someone like me that loves certain colors do you have them splashed here and there throughout your home or are you letting trends dictate the colors? After reading her book I decided that I would look inside myself and ask what is my style? What colors do I like? What kind of furniture, cars, food, designs, flowers etc. do I like? When I have to buy something like a pen, which one is the perfect "me" pen, not just any pen. When we start appreciating our unique likes and dislikes and start having things around us that reflect our uniqueness, we start feeling happier. When we can love ourselves for who we are, life becomes more full.
Too many women are chameleons. They wear what others wear, do their hair the same, decorate the same. No wonder so many women lose themselves and start wondering who they are. They are loosing themselves to the groups likes and dislikes. It is riskier to do your own thing, but by doing it, it helps you find and appreciate yourself more.
I know my blog is not very business like. If I were to go to other coaches blogs they would look VERY different than mine. My motto for myself is I've gotta be me. I have found joy in finding myself. I could look like other coaches with a business looking blog but then I wouldn't be practicing what I preach. I believe there is only one me and only one you. If I am not going to be me, then who will?

It is NOT Selfish to Take Care of Yourself!!

"If you are not taking care of yourself, body, mind, and spirit, the people in your life don't get the best you, they get what's left of you" Lorraine Cohen


When I coach women I find lots of them that do too much for everyone else and forget themselves. I hope something in this post can help you to know, YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

I have learned that when I am a person that can do everything myself, people will let me do EVERYTHING, even when I'm exhausted.

When I don't have an opinion on the restaurants, vacations, and movies I go to, guess what? Other people pick where they want to go. It is my own fault when I end up at a sushi restaurant when I hate sushi.

Women don't have any problem buying new clothes, classes and camps for their kids but some don't save any money for clothes, classes and girl trips for themselves. If you don't think you are worth it, your children will begin to think you aren't worth it either.

Have you known women who think they are worth a manicure or a new outfit? Everyone else knows they deserve it too.
Don't you want your husband and children to have one of those mom's and wives that think highly of themselves, have opinions and think they deserve a nice life too?

People get treated, how they treat themselves.

You can only love others as much as you love yourself.

Think you are worth it and others will think you are worth it.

Have an opinion and others will admire you for having one.

Jewel has a song called Stronger Woman
My favorite line in the song is
Well tonight, I’m going to be
The kind of woman I’d want my daughter to be

We have to model the kind of person we want our children to be. We want them to know that women and mother's are important. We want our daughters to treat themselves as an important valuable person, not grow up to be martyrs or doormats. When we are respected by our husbands and children when they grow up they will expect respect as well.

Here is the chorus of Jewel's song.
I’m gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can’t see
There’s a stronger woman in me
I’m gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won’t lose myself again, never, no
Cause there’s a stronger woman
A stronger woman in me.

Wendy Soderman is an Amazing Crusader

I heard Wendy Soderman tell her story on the Bob Proctor Cruise last year. Her story helps people know that they can do anything, if they have enough passion.
Wendy faces her challenges head on and turns them into gifts for the world. If you are in the education profession in anyway, you have to read about the school she has created. I hope someday every child in the world has a chance to get an education this way. Her school is positive and beautiful, not only that, her students learn faster and gain a total education, as well as, self esteem.
Her schools blow public school education out of the water in every way, including test scores, and she is a hero in her community.
She got started when she couldn't find a preschool that would take her wheelchair bound son. Instead of giving up she started her own. She loved her school so much that when her son began to out grow the preschool she started an elementary school. She has a preschool, Ideal Elementary School and Dream Middle School.

Check out the pictures of her school. I wish an artist could come and paint every child's school this way.
http://www.jcforms.com/idealphotoalbum/idealphotos.htm

About her schools http://www.dreamideal.com

Dancing Lessons

I have been talking about taking dancing lessons for years. I kept thinking my husband and I could do them together. Well, it was never one of his goals. He doesn't like to dance. I thought I can either mope around because no one will take lessons with me or I can do it by myself. So last week I took action. I was frankly sick of talking and thinking about it. I drove myself down to Fred Astaire dance Studio and signed up for 5 classes. I went 2 times last week and it was really fun. I danced about 40 min. each time. It was physically and mentally stimulating. I came home and danced with my 11 and 12 year old girls. We had a ball. I am going to keep taking lessons. When I get better I hope I can teach my husband and girls.
This wasn’t a huge goal. It was just one of those things I thought would be fun to try. Is there anything you have been talking about doing? Are you waiting on others to do it? Do it on your own. Your enthusiasm might be contagious.

Here is my uncle and I dancing at my aunt's 50th wedding anniversary. See the lessons have already paid off!

My Mission Statement

Mission Statements evolve over time. What is nice about writing one is putting it up on your bathroom mirror and reading it each day. When you say these positive things and know where you are going, your day starts out better with clearer direction.

My Mission Statement
I savor each moment of my life as a positive, grateful, happy, wife, mother, homemaker and successful business woman and coach who delegates, serves and helps others rise to greatness.
I am a strong, spiritual, healthy, organized and an energetic whole person who is self disciplined, a goal getter, who has deep, meaningful and fun relationships with family, friends and colleagues.

Toastmasters

I just joined Toastmasters. It is a speaking club. My mother was in Toastmasters before I was born. I always knew it was something I would like to try. I had it on my list of life goals for years and years. I finally thought to myself, "What am I waiting for? What is stopping me from going for it?" I decided to do it. I looked on the internet and found the Toastmaster meeting closest to my home. I had no idea what to expect. After going to 2 other buildings I finally found the meeting. I got there late but they acted very excited to see me. They were all very warm and friendly. I was as comfortable as a person could be showing up at a strange place, with new people and standing and giving an impromptu 2 min. speech on holiday goodies. But you know what? I came home so pumped!!!