Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman

In the book The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman you can find out what ways help you feel loved. At the end of the book there is a quiz that you and your spouse can take. These are the answers.
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
Different people feel love in different ways. One might feel love from compliments, one from gifts, one from doing nice things for the other. Everyone interprets love a different way. Once we find out the way our spouse feels love, we can be more effective. Instead of giving them love the way we would want it, we give them love how they want it.
For instance, one of my love languages is acts of service. I would love it if someone cleaned the kitchen, cleaned my car or ran an errand for me. This would show me that I was really loved. If I were given a gift it wouldn't mean as much to me. My other love language is words of affirmation. If I get a card that says really nice things I keep forever. This might be the complete opposite of someone else.
A clue to finding out what someone's love language is to see how they show love to you. I have a daughter that loves to throw parties, decorate and buy gifts. I can assume that is how she would like to be treated in return.
The book is to help you find out what the other person's love language is, so you can show them love in their language not yours. My husband's language is quality time. He just likes to hang out with me. He doesn't care if I am serving him or buying him stuff. Because I know his love language I make sure that I don't get too busy and ignore him.
When we are not showing others love their way we are just spinning our wheels.

For those of you who's love language is words of affirmation you are going to love this idea. I gathered up all the cards and notes that people have written me and I put them in a scrapbook. Now whenever I need a little boost I can go to this book and see all the nice things people have said about me.

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